Correctly identifying the anger, isolation, and hopelessness invading your marriage It may seem that something very sad and very dark is happening to your spouse. Lethargy and irritability have stolen your partner’s interests and humor. Pessimism and chronic pain have made time together tough to take. To address the problem early and effectively, know the signs ...

Sometimes your days are not about getting to the root of your depression. Sometimes you don’t want to do anything more than keep your symptoms in check. You couldn’t care less about improving your outlook or tips for a “happier you.” In those moments, you just don’t want life to feel any more hopeless, pointless, or ...

Five ways to cope with the emotions, perceptions, and physical responses that feed your emotional pain Do you stand in the mirror and obsess about how many pounds make you desirable, successful, or loved? Are you pulled deeper and deeper into your private food and body obsession, ashamed by it, yet compelled to keep it ...

Countless ways are available to stay motivated to lose weight. You can choose from a plethora of sure-fire weight-loss products and programs, pills and power drinks, exercises and workout programs, balms, salves, and lotions — you can pretty well name it. If there were any single best way to lose weight, it would be ...

It’s normal and natural to be sad at certain times in our life. In response to unhappy events, like the passing of a loved one, we may be blue for long periods of time. We might never fully get over it. It’s part of being a human being in this world. Again, that’s ...

Toys everywhere, tiny dirty socks in the corner, dirty dishes on the table and a dishwasher full of clean dishes, dust and dirt and clutter all around the house – this house needs a work crew. And there it is, parked in front of the TV, hanging from the porch rail, pouring out ...

Everyone knows how it’s supposed to go for your child: sign up for college prep courses in high school, keep her grades up, ace the SAT and ACT, apply to several colleges. Pick one, pack up, and head off to the experience that will determine the rest of her life. That’s the way it ...

Social media really works, especially for minorities in the larger society. It immediately can hook you up with people who share your interests – You’ve got to try this great Ethiopian restaurant! Here’s what I think about that … Take a look at the new Cuban artist showing at my gallery. Anybody hitting ...

You may seem like the perfect partner, relative, and friend. You are aware of the needs of others and set about satisfying them, maybe even before they are aware of those needs themselves. You’re always willing to put the happiness of others ahead of your own. You’re the one who “goes the extra ...

Internet addiction, also called computer or online addiction or Internet addiction disorder (IAD), is becoming recognized for its impact on virtually all areas of life. We all use the Internet to a greater or lesser degree, depending on our work requirements, connection with remote family or friends, or physical limitations that keep us isolated ...

Your baby is gone, off to a distant college or a job in another state, married, traveling the world, or moved into an apartment across town. The bedroom looks forlorn, closet nearly empty, floor navigable, holes where the posters used to hang, the bed (for once, forever) neatly made. Don’t bother setting that ...

You’re outnumbered, again, but maybe not as much as you think. Estimates put introverts at between a third and a quarter of the population. If it feels like almost everyone but you is an extrovert, that’s probably because extroverts are just so obvious, and a lot of introverts are trying to be extroverts ...

No one wants to lose. But eventually we all do. Something makes us mourners. Deaths, breakups, layoffs, an empty womb, or an empty nest. Someday, something forces us to let go of someone or something we really wanted, dearly loved, or hoped to keep. So, how do you recover when the realities of your loss seem too difficult, ...

It’s a beautiful day, temps in the 70s, clear skies with just a touch of fall crispness. You know this because you’re sitting on a park bench and looking at your smart phone, which tells you it’s a beautiful day. Your kids are OK; your iPad says they got home from school just ...

Your child doesn’t want to be left out of the selfies, inside jokes, and shared videos happening non-stop on social media. It’s all a way to feel included, to fit in, to be noticed, and to have a voice. What kid doesn’t want that? Life before social media is fast becoming a distant memory for many ...

I almost met a guy at the dog park one day a few summers ago. My dog and his dog befriended each other. So we were in the same area when his phone rang. I gathered it was his wife. She sounded upset although I couldn’t make out any words. From where I ...

Although not everyone makes detailed plans for it, we all have some expectations for what our lives will be like in the future. Nobody plans to have those expectations dashed by a sudden life-changing disability (or a chronic illness). Maybe you were in a car accident. Maybe you fell off a roof. Maybe you ...

When the last of your kids leaves home, you might just have a bout with “empty nest syndrome.” Profound feelings of loss and sadness seem to come in through the same door your child went out. Letting go of that last one can be particularly hard to do. If the last to leave home ...

Your mind may have had time to anticipate the loss: the long agony of a fatal illness, a slow slide into financial trouble, a failing relationship. You may have been stunned by sudden trauma: a serious accident, flood or fire or earthquake, a lost job, or a fight with a friend. Whether you were ...

We spend 70 percent of our lives communicating and almost half of that listening. So why aren’t we better at it? It may be because we can hear between five and 10 times as fast as someone else talks. That leaves a lot of extra brain capacity that takes our attention wandering. Chinese or ...

Something is wrong in your relationship. You know that or you wouldn’t be reading this. Your partner may not agree that there’s a problem, or may avoid counseling out of fear – that she’ll be blamed, that she’ll have to change, that divorce will be the inevitable outcome. She’s wrong on two counts, ...

Sometimes anxious parenting seems like healthy parenting. All the worrying, assuring and reassuring, comforting, planning, and fussing seem to be for your child’s welfare. You mean well. It all seems protective, helpful, and supportive. But stop fretting for moment to look at your child. Listen. Is he or she afraid to sleep alone or stray too far, avoiding ...

Are you too busy to make your relationship work? Is one eye on your tablet when your eyes should be locked on your partner? Is one ear attached to your phone, checking voicemails, while the other is “listening” to the challenges of your spouse’s day? Relationships don’t do so well when they are just another item ...

Learning to fight a good, clean fight with effective conflict resolution. Anyone who wants commitment and long-term love, learns to fight. Oh, not knock-down, drag-out disrespect. After all, you love your partner. You just slowly come to terms with the fact that in the course of a 24-7, home-sharing, life-melding relationship, you’ll probably bump heads on a ...

You know anxiety, you have been acquainted with it for most of your life: That jumpy feeling in your stomach when your mother walked you to your very first day of school Those sweaty palms when you planned your approach to the cutest girl ever; the tingly fingertips as you watched the cutest boy ever ...

Anxiety moves into every part of your life. It fills your nights with nightmares and worry and your days with distracted thinking and fear. It keeps you jumpy and distrustful. It damages your health in a number of ways: high blood pressure, stomach upset, headaches, achy joints and muscles, dizziness, and numbness. If ...

For many people, adjusting to being single after years of marriage is difficult and takes time. Of course, everyone is different so the transition to becoming single again is an individual journey. Several factors come into play that could influence your re-entry into single life. Here are a few suggestions to help you ...

It takes willpower to skip that desert that looks so decadently delicious. (Or to skip that second helping of it.) It takes willpower to delay buying that new gadget that you hadn’t budgeted for. It takes willpower to get yourself up and exercise when you feel like being a couch potato. Weak willpower? Here ...

No, we can’t all just get along. We are hardwired to be scrappers, fighting for water or food, territory or mates, or status. We’ve refined our rationale, arguing over the best table at the hot restaurant, the last bottle of that trendy merlot, the house with the perfect location or the side of ...

Your body remembers well the worst time in your life. And holds it against you. You’re jumpy. Irritable. The headaches from the memories constantly on mental replay. The nightmares that mean sleep won’t come easy. The stress of your trauma grips and shakes you again and again. The pain of your experience keeps you not only exhausted but hyper-vigilant ...

Oh yes, it is. When something awful has happened to you, you want nothing more than to get past it, forget the pain and fear and emotional upheaval, get back to your normal life. Unfortunately, trauma doesn’t just fade away. It stays inside your heart and mind and even your body. Until you ...

The symptoms of chronic illnesses are extensive and varied: pain for some, numbness for others; exhaustion or unrelenting restlessness; bellyache, headache, muscle ache; shortness of breath, thundering heartbeat, dizziness. There is one symptom that almost everyone struggling with a chronic illness shares: loneliness. It may feel like an intentional piling on of unhappiness: Not only ...

There are many ways to see this negatively: You woke up today in a bed that’s half empty. You sit at the table alone with no one to tell about your day. There’s an ache inside your ribs that aspirin won’t touch. Your best friend has become your enemy. You will wake up tomorrow in a bed that’s ...

The answer is an infuriating “maybe.” Maybe you can summon the grace to get over the betrayal. Maybe your partner is capable of taking responsibility and committing to a change. Or maybe your partner isn’t interested in changing anything and maybe you are too angry to even consider forgiving and moving on. The future of ...

Just the word, said out loud or written that way, with just the period behind it, seems somehow taboo and uncomfortably final. It makes us uneasy. Moreover, we know how hard death is to explain to ourselves. How do you discuss death with a child? You may want to skirt the topic altogether. But death, too often, ...

6 ways to determine whether your sexual behaviour is out of control   Have you had enough of all the sex? Is it all too much? Too much pornography. Too many strangers. Too much cruising. Too many affairs. Is your sexual life no real life at all, but just one uncontrollable tangle of problems? You want out…but you feel bound ...

You’re not alone ­– Its estimated that 30 million people in the U.S. alone suffer some form of sexual addiction. You’re not evil – Sexual addiction is a compulsive disorder like alcoholism or drug addiction. Although the cause is complex, researchers believe sexual addiction can result from sexual abuse, distant parents, an imbalance in ...

It would be great, wouldn’t it, if none of us had cause for anxiety? Life doesn’t work that way, though. Traffic is a bear. There’s that deadline at work. It’s 11 p.m. – where is your teenage daughter? The family Thanksgiving gathering is coming up and there is no way your green bean ...

Once upon a time, anxiety did what anxiety is supposed to do. You counted on it. You counted on it to rush in when things got tense. It tapped you on the shoulder and whispered “time to go.” It firmly advised you to plant your feet and “put up your dukes.” But now? Now, you can’t count on anxiety ...

What an amazing turning. For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the simple right enjoyed by heterosexual couples to knit their relationship into the fabric of our society. Agonizingly slow progress saw gay marriage legal in 19 states this year. And then a month ago ...

Teenagers are often pretty tough. They have to be. How else can they survive the bombardment of hormones, peer pressure, social dynamics, and academic expectations they navigate daily? Teenagers are often overwhelmed. Who wouldn’t be? How else can they stand up to the feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety, rejection, and failure that can thread their way through their ...

Relationships end for a variety of reasons. Although some romantic relationships and marriages end amicably, like the conscious uncoupling of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, many don’t. Understandably, some relationships might end in less-than-friendly circumstances after an incident of betrayal like an affair or other exposed dishonesty. Afterward, it can be hard to deal ...

The weeks and months before your wedding day are busy and exciting. Lots of plans and decisions need to be made. Of course, you already plan to be happy together with your future spouse. After all, happy marriages are among the most fulfilling relationships people encounter in life. Before you tie the knot, however, ...

If you live with a chronic illness, or if you were suddenly and permanently disabled, you’re not alone. Chronic illnesses and permanent disabilities are a fact of life for millions of people. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is also one of the hardest: accept that things are forever ...

Are you on the receiving end of one of the most maddening relationship problems there is? Here are some hints: Forgetfulness: “Sorry, I completely forgot that you wanted me to pick up the dog from the vet.” “Wait – you don’t like Thai food?” “Oh, gosh, that gold date was today, wasn’t it?” Silence: … Putting ...

Anxiety should be your friend. It should be a warning when things get scary. It should be a motivator when you’ve been challenged. Unfortunately, your anxiety simply won’t leave you alone. Its always there, always in the way of the life you long to lead. It’s time to break free. Here’s where to begin: 1. Break down your rising anxious ...

Do you remember dim lights, scented candles, and romantic music playing low? What about quick passion before work…and after dinner… and sometimes instead of lunch? Do you remember long, very late, very satisfying nights? What happened? Why is all that loving just rolling around in your memory? Instead of in your bed? Sadly, it seems you and your partner lost ...

This is no small skirmish. This is war. In own your body. You’re battling an eating disorder. You will need your strength for the attack on every unhealthy thought. You will need a concrete battle plan that can restore peace, establish order, and make the war inside a thing of the past. Eating Disorder treatment is that plan. I know that, ...

You know that life is a roller-coaster. Everyone gets down sometimes. But this is more than “down.” This is dark. It hurts. You don’t recognize the emptiness that seems to sit in your chest. You don’t know how to make it go away. Is this depression? If your life seems too exhausting, too unfocused, or too overwhelming to bring you ...

You might as well face it, this is going to be a hard time for you and your partner, with plenty of hurt, blame, and guilt to go around. Infidelity is one of the most challenging things that can happen in a relationship, and yet it happens in about half of marriages. Be ...