It was great in the beginning. You were fascinated by one another, thrilled by each new discovery, mesmerized by what each of you dared to share. You were turned inward toward each other, even when separated for a few hours or days. What is she doing right this minute? And you would drift ...

Anxiety is common to all of us, and is appropriate when we are in a stressful, frightening situation. When the feelings of panic and fear become chronic and debilitating and have no obvious cause, our anxiety tips over into a disorder. Generalized Anxiety Disorder is sometimes referred to as the basic anxiety disorder because ...

Something’s not right. The person who shared (inspired!) your joy in life is remote, sad, disinterested. You find yourself dragging around an emotional anchor instead of embracing a partner in life. If you suspect your spouse is depressed, chances are good that you’re right. At this moment, 19 million people in this country are ...

It seems almost counter-intuitive to talk about controlling anxiety. Doesn’t anxiety – with its feelings of dread, tremors, racing heartbeat, nausea, and aches – sneak up on you and take over how you feel, physically and emotionally? Doesn’t anxiety have the upper hand? As overwhelmed as you may feel, there are a number of ...

It sounds silly to talk of one person taking part in couple’s therapy, like a solo game of tennis or a waltz for one. You’re half of a couple, doesn’t that mean you’re “half” when you’re on your own? It can be easier and perhaps more efficient when both partners agree to see a ...

Divorced. Some people throw a party. Some people throw a fit. And some people are simply thrown for a loop. Facing life on your own can be stressful and full of uncertainty. You’ll need time to gather your thoughts, a willingness to assemble a support team, and the courage to redefine your future. Don’t fret. You will learn to throw ...

Anxiety – fear, sleeplessness, trembling, difficulty breathing, body aches, chest pain, chills, dizziness, nausea, racing heartbeat – surely all this misery requires medication for relief. Not necessarily. A growing number of studies show that the practice of mindfulness meditation can be as effective as medication for many sufferers. Mindfulness meditation was developed as a medical ...

We all get angry, usually when we feel we’ve been treated unfairly. It’s a natural reaction to a perceived threat, an immediate and powerful inclination toward aggression. For most of us, anger is a rare and controllable emotion, something we are able to express, but with moderation. For some people, though, anger is a frequent ...

Your depression may feel like a uniform gray cloud stretching to the horizons of your life, unmovable and incurable. It seldom improves or goes away on its own, so it is important that you become an advocate for your own recovery before it worsens. Fortunately, there are a variety of tools that can help ...

It might seem that just about any unpleasant physical symptom is caused by anxiety. More than 100 symptoms have been attributed to anxiety, which is why the sufferers so often go undiagnosed even after repeated visits to a physician or emergency room. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 40 million American adults ...

Prioritizing your partner and reclaiming the couple you used to be It seems like mere minutes after the alarm, you’re on your way. Hurrying, you run the daily checklist in your head. Dressed. Check. Coffee. Check. Appointments. Check. E-mails. Check. Wait! You forgot something. Worse, you forgot someone. Rushing into work, you review the previous hour. What color was your partner wearing this morning? Did ...

Making Marital Conversation Meaningful Again What was it that your spouse said this morning? You remember, right after you glanced at each other over coffee? Right before you left for the day… something about the mortgage payment? What was it that you said? Do you have more passionate conversations about what to watch on TV than you do ...

It may seem like the worst news ever, when you are diagnosed with depression. It confirms what you feared – a future filled with sadness, hopelessness, exhaustion, confusion, and sleepless nights. But that diagnosis actually is a beginning – of understanding what’s been going on with you, of finding which solutions work for you, ...

It’s a romantic notion: “the two will become one flesh.” It’s certainly our inclination in the heady days of new love. Oh, we want to spend every moment together. Oh, what pleasure to trip through life hand-in-hand. Where do you want to go, honey? Wherever YOU want to go, of course. As the divine ...

In the offices of clinicians, psychiatric researchers, insurance companies, drug regulators, lawyers, and lawmakers around the world is a book known casually as psychiatry’s bible and officially as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Since 1952 the DSM has provided a common criteria for classifying mental disorders. Recently, a task force of ...

Chances are you already know whether your relationship is abusive – Does your partner try to control your speech, dress, and friendships? Does he (we’ll use the common scenario of male-on-female abuse, although there are certainly other scenarios) control your money, your mobility, and your interests? Does he treat you with disrespect, either in private ...

Abraham Lincoln and Meher Baba had it right, Lincoln with his belief that, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be” and Indian sage Baba with his reminder to followers, “Don’t worry, be happy.” Of course there’s more behind the simple advice. To begin with, we’re not all created ...

Home is your refuge, the place you go to relax, feel safe, and celebrate the comfort of being accepted and supported and loved. But what if you step through the door into a whirl of anger, blame, misunderstanding, and chaos? It’s certainly not abnormal for conflict to arise among roommates, spouses, or families. In ...

The bed is cold beside you. The closet gapes half-empty. No jostling for the bathroom sink. How do you make half a pot with this coffeemaker? How on earth do you work this coffeemaker, anyway? Your day has barely begun and already the reminders have stacked up of the incredible, unbearable hole that has ...

What to do when you just want to “get over it”. You thought your relationship would last forever. It didn’t. You thought you could let it go. You haven’t. You’re ready to put it behind you. What now? Let your heart break. Don’t deny yourself the full measure of your grief. The truth is, you are faced with an unexpected ...

Committing to love, working toward trust, and daring to begin again Is this the end? The affair, like a dark cloud, looms over your marriage. It rains so much suspicion, doubt, and blame that you can barely see each other. It shoots lightning bolts of anger, resentment, and guilt so strong that you and your partner are ...

Know Your Enemy — Understanding Anxiety An unwelcome visitor drops in unexpectedly, sometimes several times a day, to disrupt the lives of 4 million Canadians, bringing blurred vision, headaches, breathing problems, a wildly pounding heart, panic, painful tingling, and/or paranoia. One in four Canadians will suffer an anxiety disorder in their lifetime, according to ...

Just one drink. Just one. Or two. Just a couple of drinks and that maddening voice will shut up and you can get on with your day. Fortunately, there are a number of healthier responses to the cravings for alcohol. Thinking differently – A big part of addiction and the cravings it leaves in its ...

It’s a question that almost half of married couples will confront. In the tsunami of emotions following the revelation that your spouse has cheated on you, the answer may seem simple (and savagely satisfying): It’s over! Get out. To hell with you, you lousy, lying lowlife! And then the complexity of your life re-emerges ...

Short-Term Hopelessness In the short term, feelings of hopelessness can be a normal part of the grieving process, or a brief part of a depressive episode. Symptoms may include a lack of voluntary responses, sad affect, suicidal attempts or ideation, lack of energy, apathy, psychomotor delays, sleep disturbance, difficulty in concentration, and mood-exacerbated negative ...

Alcoholics Anonymous – Alcoholics Anonymous is the best-known and oldest of the primary support groups for people recovering from the overconsumption of alcohol. The organization, with 2 million members worldwide, was founded in 1935 by alcoholics Bob Smith and Bill Wilson. Members are encouraged to attend as many meetings as they need, working ...

Infidelity is the most painful and damaging thing that can happen in a relationship, spreading anger, guilt, depression, and shattered trust to both partners and their children, extended family and friends. If it’s happened in your relationship, you and your partner know just how painful it is. It is also one of the most ...

Grief comes to every life – the death of a parent or child, a serious illness, the end of a relationship or a job, the loss of meaningful possessions. Even happy transitions like college graduation or a move to a new home can cause grief for the changed circumstances. Normal Grief In most cases grief ...

What to look for when the baby’s finally here, but you’re just not happy about it The happy activity buzzing around you feels more like a TV dream sequence. The baby, your baby, wriggles in your arms. Though your friends and family are cooing and smiling over your shoulder, tears well up for you–again. You can barely ...

Depression, as those dwelling in its depths know well, is much more than feelings of sadness. Sufferers daily battle lethargy, an inability to concentrate, disinterest in daily life, problems sleeping, anxiety and agitation, weight gain or loss and, most troubling, thoughts of suicide. Most experts believe the cause for depression is a combination of ...

Seven ways to manage the pain It doesn’t matter how long you were together. It doesn’t matter who actually said the final goodbye. It’s over. It’s harsh. It hurts. Right now, your spot under the covers seems a safe shelter from loneliness, rejection, and relentless relationship reminders. Right now, singing sad song karaoke, while curled up in ...

Sex. Money. The kids. The chores. The house. The car. The job. The laundry. The cooking. The in-laws. Everything. Anything. The topic might change, but the fight is the same. No resolution. No agree to disagree. No kiss and make up. Just anger, resentment, silence, then battling again. Sound familiar? Marriage is hard work. Sometimes, it’s too hard to win the war without ...

The list of health effects of heavy drinking isn’t limited to auto accidents and the delirium of long-term drinkers. Alcohol abuse is linked to more than 60, sometimes unanticipated, diseases. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines excessive alcohol use as: more than three drinks a day and an average of seven drinks ...

Here it is again, unexpected and unwanted – the misery of a panic attack! Your heart begins to thud, your vision narrows. Your tongue, surely it’s terribly swollen! You’re sure to choke on it. No one’s heart could beat this fast and so painfully unless it’s really a heart attack! Sweating, dizzy, and nauseated, ...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), the mind’s response to suffering, or even witnessing, a trauma, is one of the most prevalent mental disorders. PTSD Facts PTSD disrupts the lives of almost 8 million Americans, 40 million people worldwide. About 10 percent of women and 5 percent of men will suffer from PTSD in their ...

Okay, you’ve put the bite in your mouth. You’re committed now, you have to chew and swallow, even though that woman is clearly staring at you. The man at the next table, too, staring and frowning. What are they seeing that’s so wrong? What have you done now? To make things worse, you ...

It’s great that your new guy is so interested in you — where you’re going, who you’re spending time with — or, is he a little too interested? Why do you and your partner have so many fights and why is it always your fault? It just doesn’t make sense that your good friend no ...

Choosing to Recover Well After Loss When Loss punches you hard, it knocks you back. The thud of reality feels like cold concrete against your back. Head reeling and gut wrenching, you feel the pain.   If you let it, Loss will take you down.   Confronting Loss   What is it that knocked you down? Foreclosure? Death? Job loss? Divorce?   Grief is ...

An emotional trigger, just like a trigger on a gun, is a small pressure that sets off a larger explosion. Our life experiences provide each of us with a unique set of triggers that can prompt an angry response that may surprise us by their strength and leave us confused about the causes. ...

We all experience (and express) anger throughout our lives. That’s normal. However, a growing number of us consider anger a problem. More than one in four of us worry that at times we become too angry, and one in five say we have ended a relationship with someone else because of their anger ...

Learn to Reverse Direction, Receive Guidance, and Recover Your Relationship Do you ever wonder, “What happened to the good stuff?” The shared laughter. The romantic high. The passionate spark. What happened to the joy of loving and being in love? Marriage was supposed to keep your love secure– not bury it somewhere beneath the routines and responsibilities ...

How to Navigate Grief, Growth, and Recovery Change comes fast and frequent after divorce, but you can survive it. You can come out stronger with a solid future and valuable lessons learned. Your Pain is Real Your relationship is over. The life you expected to have is gone, and it hurts. The life that lies ahead doesn’t ...

Conflict is common to all marriages. When you start with two people from different backgrounds, with different opinions and personalities, it’s unavoidable. Add expectations and quirky habits, along with the challenges of daily living, and inevitably you will be disagreeing with your spouse about something. In order to live happily ever after, the ...

There are a number of problems that can strain a marriage, but few are as destructive and devastating as infidelity. Whether the betrayal occurs as an emotional or physical affair, the reasons it happened have likely been in place for quite a while. It Takes Two Engaging in an intimate relationship with someone outside the marriage ...

When it overtakes you, it may feel like you won’t survive. It’s sudden and intense. The exaggerated sound of your heart and blood pounds in your ears. You are choked by inexplicable fear and are overwhelmed, nauseous, or disoriented. All you can take in are short shallow breaths. The tightness in your chest ...

Worry is normal. But if you find yourself worrying constantly and feel that your worry is interrupting your day-to-day life, you may suffer from excessive anxiety. Even if you believe that your worries are consistently and negatively impacting your quality of life, don’t lose hope. You can seek help and relief from the ...

The inimitable Fred Rogers often stated: “Anything that is mentionable can be more manageable.” This simple sentiment on the importance of emotions has become an important aspect of helping children develop healthfully, productively and creatively. In fact, renowned neuropsychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel calls it “mindsight.” What Our Children Need According to Siegal, some basic childhood needs can ...